Thursday, February 5, 2009

Fayette Nam

This is a completely undoctored picture taken of the sign at the Fayette County fairgrounds last Monday.

My good friend Bob Dvorchak and I began referring to Fayette County as "Fayette Nam" when we were in our 20's. Seems as though the term has caught on.

As many of you would know, Smock is fixed in the south central part of Fayette County and we pretty much enjoy that Fayette County "sunshine" as you can see here in the picture.

Well, I thought I'd make a list of ways that you could tell someone was from Fayette County. And no, none of these were stolen from Jeff Foxworthy. It's all pretty much {{{gulp}}} true. There may be a few questionable words here, but you must please consider the source.

You know that you're from Fayette County when:

You've never been up Route 51 North further than Marlene's.

You deer hunt (NOT "hunt deer") with a gun that costs more than your car.

You have at least one car in your yard that is older than 1960 (on blocks).

You think a stripper clip on a gun magazine is erotic.

You think that expensive liquor is Jaquin's Ginger Flavored Brandy

Your doctor tells you that you have nocturnal emissions and you check your car.

You have actually received and eaten government cheese.

You think that eating at Hooters is "livin' large".

You think that Budweiser is an imported beer.

You tell your friends that the Yuengling Brewery misspelled "Yingling".

You wrote in Jeff Foxworthy's name for President of the U.S.

You were once picked up by a woman who said "Hey, nice tooth".

Your thought that the best 3 years of your life were 5th grade.

Someone asks if you want to "shoot the Ohiopyle rapids" and you get your gun.

You call a woman with two black eyes and a broken jaw "a slow learner".

You love anything by Dinty Moore.

You have drunk numerous times from a hose.

You've been to the Look Inn in Rowes Run and lived to talk about it.

You think that Big Foot is a truck.

You have at least once in your life wished you could play the chandelier.

You have at least one family member named Pickles.

You think that the word "Cooder" is an anatomical term.

You think that Ben Roethlisberger actually owns a company that sells beef jerky.

You not only know what a kolatch is but when and where to buy it.

You married your high school sweetheart...while still in high school.

You have actually participated in and won a pissing contest.

You think that the hymn Ave Maria doesn't have enough bass.

You think that tire, fire, plier, higher, and dryer all have one syllable.

You consider dentistry a luxury.

You've either owned a dog or have been personally called "Shit for brains".

You know someone who has met Elvis.

At one time in your life, you did not have indoor plumbing.

You learned to shoot before you learned to spell.

You think that Gomer Pyle was an actual Marine.

You can name 47 different brands of cigarettes.

You've changed the oil in your car and then used it in your lawn mower.

You actually know how to start a tractor.

You blame extreme weather conditions on NASA.

For those of you who would like to find me and "teach me a lesson", I live in Yazoo City, Arkansas and yes, I'm in the book.

1 comment:

Cori said...

I always thought it was O-Hi-O-Pie-O! Course I'm from up dare north on Route 51, unlike younz dahn der.